she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
