i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
