Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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