I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
