it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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