His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
