His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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