yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They took my balls.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
