there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize