I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize
