Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
