just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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