If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
