I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
