Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize