would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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