smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
