i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
