I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
