I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
