Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
