now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
