yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
