I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
