he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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