I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You took a bar mat shot.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
