It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
More tranny stories later!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
