Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
