Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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