i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
