I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
