Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
