She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize