Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize