Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
