I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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