Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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