Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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