Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I could fuck to npr.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
