The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
