I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
