the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
