I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
