I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
