Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i out mim tonsoeep
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