Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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