I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
