i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
