there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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