I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
