i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
