my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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