i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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