No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
