I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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