We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
