There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
