dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize