She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize