We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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