girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
