Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
