I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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