Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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