tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
